I’ve had a good couple days of peace and no fighting. That’s fresh. I was actually enjoying my day yesterday, what with it being more productive than any other day (finally finished the website for my mom over just a day when I should have been done with it like last Feb or March…AND made her a bonus website even if she didn’t ask for it). To make things better, the weather was terrific, I watched Glee with Butler, had yummy coffee at Starbucks, listened to jazzy Christmas carols, and sniffed freshly painted walls, and felt the cool November night breeze on my nape.
…buuut I had to stretch such a good day to its limits.
At 10AM (of today…yes, yesterday continued) when my mind was traipsing between light sleep and consciousness, Butler had to call to scold me for staying up until that time. I have a good feeling it’s much more than “caring about my well being” that would make him lose it without any provocation from me. He was asking for it by sounding all I’m-pissed-but-I-don’t-want-to-talk-right-now-but-I-want-you-to-force-me-to-say-what’s-on-my-mind-so-I-have-a-reason-to-lash-out.
Last thing I want to hear when I’m at the limits of my day and sheer will (or enjoyment) is the only thing that’s keeping me awake is some person getting on my case necessarily. We hadn’t had a big fight in days. And now, we did again. Last I remember was when I noted it somewhere in a previous post.
I said some hurtful things, and still being truly pissed right now, I wish I was able to say more.
Now, my whole day is ruined… as I’m sure his is too. I haven’t had the right sleep. I didn’t wish to sleep after that loud phone call we had. I wanted to continue doing what he accuses me of doing. I just napped uneasily beside the phone… and here I am once again on my computer, going on my second day.
No coffee. No sugar. Just ready to snap the head off of anybody who tries to cross me in the next hours of waking.