Day 18 to Thirty: The Hand That Rocks the Craddle

1. Woke up at 3:20PM. Too late! So once more, I failed in normalizing my sleeping hours. Pounding headache, stinging throat and runny nose started bothering me when I opened my eyes.

2. Ate Dolly is working for us today again. I hope she stays on as our regular maid. She’s one of the three favorite nannies I ever had.

First was Melanie. She was my nanny when I was around four or five. She was very young when she worked here — around 14 or 15, I think. She was a “cry baby” too, being away from her family at such a young age. Even though she was sad and alone, she took care of me very well and really cared for me. She fed me all the time and I can’t eat if she’s not around. Even as a child I felt what real caring was vs. the forced because of the job. I cried and cried and tried to run after her when she left. Mama had a bit of a hard time getting me to eat when Melanie was no longer around. Mama promised to replace Melanie. My next yaya did the same for me — fed me while I watched TV in the evening (Ghost Busters, etc.) and while I did my homework. I think I started eating on my own only when I reached high school. (Melanie called me once or twice when I was older to say hi, but I no longer heard from her after our telephone number changed :(.)

My second favorite maid was Ate Conching. She was very loyal to us… very loyal to me. Even if she was having difficulties with Mama, when I asked her to stay the first time she wanted to leave, she stayed because of me. The second time she left, I didn’t stop her anymore. I knew it was getting really hard for her dealing with Mama. I let her go. I detested Mama for it, but what can I do? She’s my mother and I love her despite her flaws.

Same story with Ate Dolly. I loved her dearly as my nanny. Every time I would have my hellish monthly periods, she’d help me get through them. I see the worry in her eyes whenever she sees me curled up in pain. She brings me a hot bottle all the time and rubs my tummy like my own mother. She left because of a spat between her and Mama (what’s new?). Ever since she left, I kept constant contact with her because I made a promise to myself that one day, when I live on my own, I’m getting her to work for me.

2. Asked Ate Dolly to buy me some Biogesic and Neozep. Not long after she left, another pain grew intensely in my bladder. Like I wanted to run to the bathroom and take a major pee, but I know I just did that already. Uh-oh! Not good. The can only mean one thing… urinary tract infection. Damn! Where did I get it? The generic paracetamol that I took last night for my head that could already be expired? Infected water? Wtf… I hate this. Seems like I wouldn’t be able to escape this year unscathed without coming down with a major illness (i.e. taking meds for something on a regular basis). Just when I had only two months to go…

When Ate Dolly came back, I didn’t want to ask her to go back to the drugstore to get me more meds. It was hard enough doing the first trip, having to walk in the rain even if she had an umbrella. I also learned that my sister made her wash a whole load of laundry — some clothes that haven’t been washed ever since our last maid, which was months ago — and she’s surely very tired. Maybe I’ll ask her tomorrow instead.

3. Began going back and forth to the loo every 10mins. Hair always stood on end due to the chills. This happened all too quickly. I know the infection should first take time to grow before it becomes as uncomfortable as this. What I experienced in a matter of minutes is what I should be experiencing in a matter of two days if I leave it w/o proper medication. I took cranberry food supplements and hoped that it wasn’t expired.

4. Fell asleep on the computer chair while trying to calm my whole body down. Woke up to a message of Butler on FB. He was offering to bring me meds but after waking, I felt better and I didn’t want to bother him to drive all the way to my place to bring me some antibiotics.

5. Feeling better, I resumed my daily FB rituals. Sent Butler some ingredients in Restaurant City. Head started pounding at around 9:30PM. Could have been caused by lack of coffee in my system or the smoke from the mosquito coil Ate Dolly lit so she wouldn’t get bitten by the mosquitoes as she slept in the adjacent room.


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