Day 15 to Thirty: Volatile

1. Not in a really good mood today. Hard to describe it. I’m not really pissed and not really sad, but something is ticking me off. Woke up to that feeling. Must be partly coz I saw how much a waste in the day it is with me waking at almost 6PM already with the sun is no longer up. Reason for why I’m down is, however, still unknown. I don’t feel like continuing with the search for the resort today. All I want to do right now is make an appointment with a shrink tomorrow and book a flight out of the country for next week. At the same time, I feel like doing nothing at all but cry in one corner.

2. Talking to Butler while he was distracted playing a game didn’t help my mood. Seems to have worsened it, actually. We just put down the phone now so he and Vaughn can go to the gym already. I should remember to bite my tongue later when we talk when he gets home. I feel I’m on the verge of igniting another fight tonight when I don’t even know what’s wrong with me. It can’t be the period. I’m almost done.

3. I’ll check my mail for other resort replies, then my FB, then watch Prison Break. Maybe my mood will be lighter after an hour.

4. Been playing in FB and reading Tech articles when lower left eyelid started twitching hard. Thought it will be gone after a few twitches but it’s been 20mins now. The twitching became too frequent, I timed it. Average of 3 twitches every 10 seconds. When I stop moving and wait for it, it stops… but the moment I relax and start doing something else (like typing this post) and it starts up again. Damn eye! Like it’s playing with me!

5. Damn, I’m not yet done with my daily FB ritual. Haven’t watched any episode yet of PB. Got sidetracked a bit when I read up a bit on how to earn through ads on blogs. Was trying to decide between Infolinks and Kontera for the in-text ads, but instead signed up for Google AdSense — possibly the safest choice. Will see how this all pans out once I get approved.

6. 10:42PM. I wonder if Butler is home already. He didn’t leave the clinic when he said he would. Talked to Vaughn about his financial problems. Of course that didn’t sit well with me because he didn’t show any sign that he was majorly worrying about it today while we were talking. He even said he feels he’s not red-lining this month, even if he did pay a hefty amount again today for monthly expenses at the clinic. What changed from the time we put down the phone to the few minutes before he stepped out the door to go to the gym? Or if nothing came up, then that means he was hiding it from me while we were talking which makes it all the more worse since that shows he doesn’t feel comfortable talking to me about these things. Times like this, I really doubt when he says I’m his best friend. Oh well, at least he knows I run to no one but him… and this blog.

7. “There’s a liiiight… over at Frankenstein’s plaaace….” That song from Rocky Horror keeps playing over and over in my head. @_@

8. 11:02PM. Left eye still twitching involuntarily. Butler already home. Texted that he tried to call but line was busy coz Mama was using the phone. Mama called me after talking to Lolo Carding to tell me I have to be at the funeral parlor by 8:30AM since mass will be held at 9AM there before Lolo Manding is brought to Eternal Gardens for the cremation, then brought to his final resting place in Laloma.

9. 11:30PM Phone started ringing. Butler was calling. I was in the middle of scanning my mail for replies from the resorts I inquired at. Mood lifted when I read the reply of one resort – Orinda. They gave me a TERRIFIC package for my 6-day stay for only a little more than PhP 12,000! My eyeballs almost fell off their sockets! They offered me their Premiere room (the second best room) with a lot of other stuff. The place looked lovely from the pictures, they say they have free shuttle service and other amenities such as WiFi, and kitchen in the room…  so it was so hard to believe that it’s so cheap! The only problem I can see about closing the deal is the location: it’s going to be a30-minute walk passing a rocky area on the beach to get to the White Sand where Stations 1-3 are. Anyway, as the phone rang, I immediately forwarded the email to my Butler so we can go over it together. The moment he saw it, he exclaimed “SOLD!!!”… but of course we first have to confirm with Orinda if their shuttle service can take us to the wedding before I close the deal.

10. 3:00AM I find the deal too good to be true, and since they say that in every silver lining there’s a cloud, I started looking for reviews on Orinda. Testimonials I found were daunting. So many people complained that the resort published in the pictures is not what they they expected to arrive at. Top complaints were the rooms needing serious maintenance, no hot water in the Premier rooms, the place stinks of wet towels, and hardly any variety in the breakfast (eggs and bacon everyday). The only good thing that remained consistent was how they were all impressed with the wonderful staff and service. And I quote “…staff would bend over backward” just to serve them.

11. 4:46AM Feared getting into a nightmare and being stuck in a terrible place with no bars/restos to go to in such an event (since the resort is situated in a somewhat private beach), I started searching for other resorts, again. (Yes, I said I didn’t feel like doing that today… but the need arose.) This time, I paid good attention to their reviews, instead of just the prices and look. In my short hunt, I found two hotels – Jony’s and Red Coconut – which seems to have impressed their previous clientele. Texted the Butler to check the reviews too.

12. Might stay up until I leave for the funeral. Will just sleep later, maybe after lunch. I might eat out on my own (for the first time in a year) later while I wait for my Butler. Hmm… I think I’m up for a little kebab…

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  • An attempt to remember.

  • The author and editor would like to thank the visitors of this site for dropping by and taking time to go through the articles.

    These are simply but ramblings of one woman struggling to retain as much youth in a fast-aging world. With her deteriorating senses and memory, this is her way holding on to as much as she can remember.

    The tone of the blog will most-likely change once she shifts to another phase in life. As of the moment, she claims to be at peace while in hibernation.

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