Day 4 to Thirty: Talkin’ Talk

1. Hurrying to post this blog just in case the lights go out. Winds and rain are getting stronger. Hope approaching storm doesn’t wreak too much havoc.

2. Want to continue fixing my phone tonight. Wasn’t able to get up last night due to the following conditions:

  • Felt feverish after waking up after a few minutes of sleeping. Couldn’t go to sleep so just talked to Butler
  • Lost electricity for an hour and a half
  • Talked to my Butler on the phone after the lights came back on and finished talking at 2AM

Basically, Day 3 was a big waste since I hardly did anything.

3. Talked to Butler on the phone again after I woke up at 5PM. I had a really long sleep. I should have woken up earlier if my sleep wasn’t punctuated by another bad dream.

I was still together with him but I was losing him fast. I knew he was dating another girl but I kept my mouth shut about it. I held a party. It was in this seemingly small, but concrete slum building which has, in fact, three huge basement floors and looked like a 5-star hotel inside. However, location-wise, it was in the part of town where travelers would fear to venture since it’s in a really decrepit part of town, not street lamps, very dark in the evenings where anybody can get mugged.

Since it was my party, and he was my partner, of course I would invite him to it. But he didn’t like being told what to do. No, more accurately, he didn’t like doing anything that would make me happy… so he told me he didn’t want to go, as expected. Just gave me some lame excuse as to why he didn’t want to be there. In the end however, he felt coerced to going since he knew I felt bad. But like all the times that he would do something for me when he doesn’t want to, he would make it a point to bring me down with him and make me feel bad and not enjoy.

The girl he was dating went to my party before he did. I don’t know if she went there out of her own volition (to know me more), or at his command. Last I remember was on the street, seeing the building where the party was being held, through her eyes. I don’t know what became of her, if she got mugged, or if she was able to get inside and mingle with us.

Next I saw was that I was walking amongst the guests then noticed the door was open and the sunshine coming through. Somebody must have arrived. Could he be here now? My heart soared with happiness. I didn’t get to savor it for long coz immediately I realized he’s about to give me hell for being here. I approached the door and saw the swivel chair of Papa was totaled. The backrest was broken into half, life someone very furious punched it. I slowly went upstairs and saw my whole family lying side-by-side on my narrow bed. They wanted him to have the bigger bed so he would be comfortable. I saw him, however, lying in a tight fetal position by the bottom end of the big bed, not enjoying its comfort. He wanted me to see that now he’s here, I inflicted discomfort on not just him but even on my whole family. He made me feel that I was the cause of all this and I should be punished for wanting him to be with me.

3. Lost electricity for a couple of minutes. I was right. The lights were about to go off.

4. Realized I can’t fix my phone — not in this weather. If the lights go out in the middle of flashing my firmware, I will brick it. I’ll do it when the weather turns better. Maybe I’ll watch some shows in my hard drive tonight or possibly plan my next days.

5. Playing my FB games before I go watch my shows. Butler just texted that he’s home already but will accompany his friend at the veranda for a bit. I wanted to reply but realized again that I didn’t have load.

6. Finally got to talk @ around 11:30PM. Didn’t have anything much to talk about during the first part. He was just enjoying comfortable silence on the other end of the phone while inducing sleep. I, however, was debating whether or not to bring up the fact that he hasn’t said anything about doing grocery which he promised to be “at the top of priorities” for Saturday, and the other topic about getting professional help which he said we’ll be discussing today. Instead of waiting for another day when I know I’ll be more pissed if he still doesn’t breach the topic, I decided to mention it before he completely falls asleep. I didn’t want to do so since it felt rude to wake his senses that way, but I had no other choice. We talked a bit about it but since he was really about to drift off, he promised, again, to bring it up tomorrow.


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