Placeholder #6

Another day ends. I’ve been trying (for so many hours) to get to bed as quickly as I could. I obviously kept failing since now, the sun is starting to rise again.

How do I describe the feeling? It’s like an itch I shouldn’t scratch but keep doing so anyway. I know I shouldn’t be sleeping late again, I try to hurry with the stuff I do so I can sleep immediately, but somehow I keep finding new things to do… over and over again. It’s so darned stressful! When you thought you can only get stressed at work…

I got to thinking, what if I get to have one whole week… no, one whole month… of waking and sleeping whenever I want knowing that everybody if sincerely fine with that and leave me be? Will my sleeping habits get fixed? Heck, what if I know that nobody dislikes anything that I do… will I become a better, more productive individual? At work, I perform my best when people like me and like what I do. I wonder if it would apply in other aspects of my life. As my sis says, “People don’t change. The way you are with one thing is the same way you are with all things; from the way you deal with problems to the way you take a crap.” She may have a point there. I deal with those two things the same way — wait ’til the last second before it explodes before I do anything about it.

And what if people would stop to think before saying anything, heck, thinking anything to contradict me (what I say, think, feel)?

What if people just truly just let me be?

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