Worried + Fuming – Dec 27, 4th day

I stayed up late last night waiting for something from you. Nothing.

Not a text, not a call, not a ring. Nothing.

"Dating be si Jon mamaya?" asked Mama. "Ewan." I was to pissed to put any embellishment.

Now is the 3rd day you have been out when you told me that you will be away for only a day. It would be fine if you told me it’s a two or three day thing, but this is totally insane!

But what if you and your family met with an accident? What if something happened? God, I feel guilty for getting mad at you! I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be mad at you. I should just be worried. I’m sure you have the decency of at least doing something to inform me, now that you have gone over the time limit you have set yourself away from me. You have a brain and I think you have changed and you are more sensitive now, so I believe you will contact me knowing I’m starting to worry about your long absence.

I keep pacing. I can’t concentrate on having fun anymore. I’m annoyed but I keep telling myself not to be coz what if something happened?

You called at 6:15PM. No apology. No explanation. You acted like nothing happened.

I wasn’t able to help it. I burst! "Why did you just arrive now?! Don’t you know I have been waiting and waiting for you?! Do you know how much worry you put me through?! Couldn’t you have at least texted?!"

"But I don’t have a phone" was your reply. Now THAT answer really made my blood boil. Are you trying to insult my intelligence?! Do you actually believe I would fall for that dumb act?!?! "You may not have a phone but at least 6 members of your family have phones. Couldn’t you have at least borrowed to tell me when you were coming home?!"

"But I told you three days kami nandun." Another fucked up excuse!! You very clearly said it’s overnight! Do you want me to have you define every word in your statement whenever you give me an answer just so we are "clear"?!

Still no apology. Just silence. "Simba kami ng 7." Oh my God. You have the guts to tell me you are leaving and you do not have time to talk to me and settle things after getting back without seeing and talking and being with me for three days?! And are you supposed to be rushing to me the moment you get to Manila, out of the van, and into the first cab that stops by you coz you miss me that much?? Since you have been with your family for three days straight, even if you do have mass with them every Sunday, didn’t you even think "I want to have mass with Boom naman coz this is fianlly my time with her."

"Dapat ba nanghiram ako ng phone para i-text kita?" DAPAT?!?! What the fuck is with the word "dapat"?!?! If you fucking wanted to, you would have without thinking if it is the norm or if it’s in a manual!!!!

"Simba na kami." I was so pissed I just let you off. No chance in hell I’m going to get through you. And again, knowing you, you are pissed by my very warm greeting to you after being away from me for so long.

OH MY GOD!!!!! CAN YOU STOP BEING SO FULL OF YOURSELF AND START SEEING HOW YOU HURT PEOPLE AROUND YOU!!!!!!

You called at 10PM (surprise, surprise) and not right after you got back home. Once more, the sign of "I’m not ready to talk to you coz you are mad at me."

Shit ka!!! When I am mad at you, you run to me like your life depended on it… coz it does!!! If you do not fix things as quickly as possible, things get messier!

Whatever. I still talked to you. Forgave you (just like all other times). You told me first thing in the morning, you will be at my place. I thought to myself "What?! You aren’t coming home to me now?!… Fine you’re tired. I won’t push." We finally said our good nights and slept.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


  • An attempt to remember.

  • The author and editor would like to thank the visitors of this site for dropping by and taking time to go through the articles.

    These are simply but ramblings of one woman struggling to retain as much youth in a fast-aging world. With her deteriorating senses and memory, this is her way holding on to as much as she can remember.

    The tone of the blog will most-likely change once she shifts to another phase in life. As of the moment, she claims to be at peace while in hibernation.

%d bloggers like this: