What’s wrong with me??
I just heard myself saying just a few minutes ago to Melvin, "Let’s start dating. Dapat, we should have our own respective dates by Friday."
I mean… WTF AM I TALKING ABOUT?! I’m not even actively meeting new people! Am I expecting myself to start batting my eyelashes at each testosterone-fueled individual I bump into para lang makilala ko sya tapos ayain makipag-deyt?!
Really now! What came over me?! Am I just fed up with all the talk about personal ralationships all around me in comparison to my lack of it? Gusto ko na lang bang makisabay sa agos? Gusto ko na ba uling mamroblema tulad nila? Gusto ko na rin bang magsimulang mag-isip ng "Like din kaya nya ako?" "May papatunguhan kaya ‘to?" "Is he feeling what I’m feeling?" (Ampotaaaah!)
Do I just want to have that "someone" so that I could have a scapegoat from routine and work and the people around me? Will I be feeling and thinking the same way tomorrow after I wake up?
I got to talk with Mark a few days back. He was my first ex who is now a casual friend. Kumustahan kami. I learned he was a doctor at San Juan De Dios. I asked about Muriele, his last girlfriend who I knew of. He jokingly said "Ayun, buntis na." Fine, whatever. Maybe his married already. He won’t give me a straight answer (which reminded me, that’s one of the biggest problems why I broke up with him before… I could never get anything straight out of him).
Well, that’s actually beside the point. During lunch, I mentioned Mark to Angel. I simply said "Dyan lang pala nag-w-work ung ex ko sa may De Dios." Amp… ang biglang tanong sa akin "Kelan daw sya ikakasal?" (Di na ako magtataka sa biglang tanong na ganun…)
I tried installing Tantra again on my computer last night. I was unsuccessful coz I needed a minimum of 1.2Gig of free space in my hard disk. Kaya lang, ang natira na lang sa 80Gig HD ko is 105MB. Tama ba naman un?! I can’t delete anything since I haven’t burnt any of my downloaded movies and episodes into CDs yet. Maybe tonight.
I just played a short Dungeon Siege game. Killed some baddies for exactly 30mins then turned in at 12AM.
I miss being an MMORPG addict. T_T
I finally got to pay my annual insurance policy today. It has been long due and if that was a mortgaged house, muntik na syang ma-foreclose. >_< Almost maxed out my ATM, but I could definitely rest well now until next December.
Next in line, I have to save up for my PDA-phone. Yes, I have resolved to get myself a PDA-phone. Pang-matagalan na uli ito. Something that won’t go out of style too easily. Something that could do everything. Something cheap (a high-end, yet second-hand, PDA-phone). Once I have saved around P6-8k, I shall haunt the busy halls of Greenhills. Hopefully, I’ll have enough by Jan 12 or 26.
I’m in a very boring class right now. We’re actually discussing Dell Support Boundaries under Policies and Procedures. Good luck sa akin mamya during assessment. Walang nag-s-sink in sa utak ko ngayon. I’m actually feigning diligence by typing these garbled thoughts down. Kala nyo nag-n-notes ako noh! Bleh!
Medyo nauubusan na ako ng mai-type. 😦 Lapit na rin naman matapos ung class. Sa review na lang ako makikinig. (Sana may review…)
Shit… Review na, nakakatulog ako… Bwiset… just a few minutes… need to stay up a bit more…
Pakshet! Perfect yung exam! 😀