I want to go back and do the things I used to do before. Things I miss doing. Things I was robbed of ever since I stepped into being a young adult…
 
I wanna go back to acting… I miss the stage, the lights, the euphoria of being in front of the faceless crowd, the high of bowing before a standing ovation… I miss the camera, the flurry of action on the set, the stars I do not want to talk or even look at kasi baka sabihin nila na groupie ako. 😛
 
I wanna go back to playing the piano everyday. I miss the simply hitting the ivory keys without a care in the world… even if it is two in the morning and all the neighbors are sleeping.
 
I wanna go back to sketching. I miss my charcoal powder and pencils, my sketchpads, sitting at a corner in a mall or fastfood and simply sketching the people walking by.
 
I wanna go back to the pool table. I wanna be the one to open and close the pool house everyday again. I wanna be like Jenette Lee, like Efren Bata. I just wanna become good at it.
 
I wanna go back to playing chess. I want to feel the high and the adrenaline of making my brain work again. Yes, it’s true. I palpitate when I play chess. I don’t know why, but it gets me all excited if I know I’m playing against somebody really good and I’m challenged by him.
 
I wanna go back to making wallpapers using Photoshop. I want to feel proud again that I do not use plug-ins and scanned pictures to make my images. I want to do great in graphics design even if it’s just for my personal use.
 
I wanna go back to having my yearly summer classes… karate, swimming, acting, voice, personality development, modelling… I wanna do more! I want to take jazz dancing and deep-sea diving and figure skating and saxophone and violin and wood & metal carving and welding.
 
*sigh*
 
I’m old.
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Comments
2 Responses to “…”
  1. Unknown says:

    Just because you\’re 40 doesn\’t mean you can\’t do these things anymore.. set a goal. Keep your eyes on it and just do it. You\’re only as old as how you feel.:P

  2. Boom says:

    Thanks a lot, poknat!
     
    I actually have a goal(?) already. Jazz dancing SHOULD start by January next year… but of course i should have gotten a new phone and 1Gig memory for my PC before I allot money for that activity. ^_^
     
    (Reason for such a small waist: Lagi mahigpit ang sinturon!… You should try it! ^_~)

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  • An attempt to remember.

  • The author and editor would like to thank the visitors of this site for dropping by and taking time to go through the articles.

    These are simply but ramblings of one woman struggling to retain as much youth in a fast-aging world. With her deteriorating senses and memory, this is her way holding on to as much as she can remember.

    The tone of the blog will most-likely change once she shifts to another phase in life. As of the moment, she claims to be at peace while in hibernation.

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