I want to go back and do the things I used to do before. Things I miss doing. Things I was robbed of ever since I stepped into being a young adult…
I wanna go back to acting… I miss the stage, the lights, the euphoria of being in front of the faceless crowd, the high of bowing before a standing ovation… I miss the camera, the flurry of action on the set, the stars I do not want to talk or even look at kasi baka sabihin nila na groupie ako. 😛
I wanna go back to playing the piano everyday. I miss the simply hitting the ivory keys without a care in the world… even if it is two in the morning and all the neighbors are sleeping.
I wanna go back to sketching. I miss my charcoal powder and pencils, my sketchpads, sitting at a corner in a mall or fastfood and simply sketching the people walking by.
I wanna go back to the pool table. I wanna be the one to open and close the pool house everyday again. I wanna be like Jenette Lee, like Efren Bata. I just wanna become good at it.
I wanna go back to playing chess. I want to feel the high and the adrenaline of making my brain work again. Yes, it’s true. I palpitate when I play chess. I don’t know why, but it gets me all excited if I know I’m playing against somebody really good and I’m challenged by him.
I wanna go back to making wallpapers using Photoshop. I want to feel proud again that I do not use plug-ins and scanned pictures to make my images. I want to do great in graphics design even if it’s just for my personal use.
I wanna go back to having my yearly summer classes… karate, swimming, acting, voice, personality development, modelling… I wanna do more! I want to take jazz dancing and deep-sea diving and figure skating and saxophone and violin and wood & metal carving and welding.
I’m old.

2 thoughts on “

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  1. Just because you\’re 40 doesn\’t mean you can\’t do these things anymore.. set a goal. Keep your eyes on it and just do it. You\’re only as old as how you feel.:P

  2. Thanks a lot, poknat!
    I actually have a goal(?) already. Jazz dancing SHOULD start by January next year… but of course i should have gotten a new phone and 1Gig memory for my PC before I allot money for that activity. ^_^
    (Reason for such a small waist: Lagi mahigpit ang sinturon!… You should try it! ^_~)

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